Swaggalicious Personified

When it comes to Swagga, everybody has their own definition. Every one claims to have swag, but the truth of the matter is, some people are swagga-less! It’s true! There are many different types of swag, but I have broken them down into a couple of my own categories. These swa-tegories have a little wiggle room, so some people may fit into more than one.

Swaggalicious:   the highest classification of swag. These people are naturally sexy. They draw people to them with little or no effort. They are the realest of the real. More than likely they were voted most popular in school because they had a flock of followers and a multitude of admirers. One thing about the swaggalicious that is unmistakable is their humbleness. Even though they are bad to the bone, they know it could all change with the blink of an eye. They are confident but not arrogant, sure, but not proud, and striking but not vain.

Swag-tight:   A somewhat distant second behind the swaggalicious is the swag-tight. At first glance the swag-tight could be mistaken for swaggalicious, but all it takes is one comment, to rule that assumption out completely. A simple, “Don’t step on my J’s man!” will let you know that this is no Swaggalicious! The swag-tight have been working on their swag all their life and now have it down to a science. Don’t get it twisted, they have their swag…..TIGHT!!!!!!

I.P.P.S.S: Imitation Pasteurized Processed Swag Substitute! I probably don’t need to explain this, but I will just for the heck of it. I.P.P.S.S. are the ones you hate to see coming at any time or any place. They walk with a fake limp and think they are pimp’s. They probably have 2 or more gold teeth and ride in a 1984 cutlass. And of course they are bumpin Do or Die’s Pimpology. They have no real swagga so they borrow pointers from the most unreliable sources. (i.e. Bill Belamy, How to be a player). If you see one, please point him in the right direction or better yet, just run!

Swagga-less: Such a pity for some to have no swag at all. : ( They watch all of the other swagga types, and wonder why they have to work so hard. It’s because they are set in their ways and know way too much about whatever they are interested in. Unfortunately, it’s annoying to everyone else. These people don’t care to have swag as much as they want the attention that comes with it. “Aww, sorry Charlie, guess you’re gonna have to sing for your supper!”

I’m sure we all know someone who fits in one or all of these categories. Like I said, these are just a few, so please feel free to comment or add some swag categories of your own.

Nettie Bee